I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
