He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
