Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
