I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
