but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
