youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
