You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
