im about as happy as oj after his trial
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
