brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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