dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
