Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
