if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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