Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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