Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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