so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
