I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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