The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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