you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
