I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
as a side note pls kill me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
