Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
