My room smells like vodka and shame
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm too high and old for this...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
