i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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