I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
