my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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