Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
