...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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