Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
