If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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