Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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