I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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