I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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