I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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