Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
