Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
