I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
