Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
