she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
