Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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