don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
