My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
