Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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