her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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