he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
