Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
