I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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