she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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