I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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