I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
