I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
