Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
