I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
nutella sex= disaster
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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