Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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